Parent-adolescent conflict

I.Introduction.
Family is one of the most important factors in adolescence development. It is of great value in formation of adolescents’ moral principles of life. Family can create personality or destroy it, it can strengthen or undermine adolescents’ psychic health. Family encourages some personal inclinations, but at the same time blocks another. It points out borders of identification and favors the appearance of person’s self-image. The development of children’s personality depends on the type of relations in the family, on its values, interests. Family prepares a child for life, it is his first and the deepest source of social ideals, and it lays down the foundations of his behavior.
ecause of love and care in which they live. On the other hand, parents try to contribute to children’s becoming independent, capable adults. These are very correlated aspects, because only being in secure a person can become independent. And adolescence is a time to verify whether parents do well in imparting these feelings and capacities to a child.
Adolescence is a time when a person is torn by conflicting feelings. On the one hand, he is eager to be free, and on other hand he wants that there is always someone behind him who supports and take care of him. Or he can strive for making decisions by himself, but consequences of his erroneous actions should be corrected by someone else. As a result adolescents’ strained necessities of autonomy and self-determination usually lead to various conflicts in the family.
According to all aforesaid we can see that parent-adolescent relations, in particular parent-adolescent conflicts, are of great importance and should be examined thoroughly. Family plays an important role in formation of adolescent’s identification and independence. Parents’ aim is to help the adolescents to leave the childhood and to be ready to take adult responsibilities. And adolescent’s development depends greatly on these relations and on the way parent-adolescent conflicts are resolved.
In my work the question of parent-adolescent conflict will be regarded from the theoretical approach of Baumrind (1991) who proposed different parenting styles influenced adolescent’s development. Besides I will touch Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. At first I will examine particularities of parent-adolescent relations and communication. I will discuss causes of parent-adolescent conflicts, their main types . And then Baumrind’s parenting styles will be described and I will try to distinguish the most effective one.
II. Theoretical presentation.
1. Parent-adolescent relations: community of interests or conflict?
As an adolescent matures, his views and understanding of what is happening in the society change and very often they differ from those of their parents. According to quick individual and family changes, typical for adolescence, the probability of divergence of views of parents and a child is higher than in previous periods. Some judgments about family life are common for all members, but some of them are purely individual. As a result adolescents’ perception of their families can differ from parents’ one, when it concerns their own emotional and intellectual autonomy. But their perception can coincide in those spheres that can threaten family unity. For instance, all members can avoid conflicts and maintain mutual consent in the respect of such important values as orientation to success or religion. (Carlson, Cooper,& Spradling, 1991).
Divergences in perception of the family unity of its members have different impact on boys and girls of this age, and can serve their different development needs. For example, difference of boy’s views on family unity from parents’ one is connected with realization of his own competency. And girls’ positive self-esteem is higher when they take parents’ side in the question of family unity. So family unity gives girls a feeling of social support, but it reduces boys’ felling of their competency. (Hauser et al., 1987).
Unity of values influenced differently on adolescents depending on whose values they share – mother or father’s ones. For example, disagreements with mother undermine social competency of adolescents, outside the family. Disagreements with father give the adolescents to call family connections in question, this fact strengthen their social competency. Loss of mother’s support can be a great threat for adolescents, but father’s behavior provokes independence and divergence of views.
Mothers have more frequent contacts with children. They know more about adolescents’ changing qualities and about their self-perception than fathers do. That’s why mothers and adolescents’ perception has more in common. Fathers are inclined to doubt adolescents’ capacities and competency in key spheres (driving, studying), their perception is quite different. (Steinberg, 1987). But at the same time interaction between mothers and adolescents is more difficult. It concerns such spheres as domestic duties, studying, discipline at school and home. It can cause big tension and mother-child conflict. But nevertheless it also creates greater intimacy in relations between mothers and adolescents. (Youniss, & Ketterlinus, 1987).
As a whole adolescence can be characterized as a period of transformation as well as a period of gap or disagreements.
Parent- adolescent relations demonstrate a combination of stability and changeableness with constant gaps, because all members try to keep emotional interaction, good relations. Now new forms of interdependence appear, that are based on family achievements. But when members of the family associate occasionally, when they are inclined to shut themselves off each other, the breach of family function can aggravate. And as a result parent-adolescent conflicts appear.
2. Parent-adolescent conflicts.
Family has very influence on adolescents, even if their previous relations were good, now they can become strained. Serious conflicts are mentioned only in 15-20% of families. But nevertheless most of them are caused by such ordinary problems as housework, day routine, dates, and marks. Parent- adolescent conflicts appear seldom when it concerns main economic, social, political values. Those young people who form their own opinion in the questions of ideology do it later, studying at colleges. (Waterman, 1985). And it is very hard to find a family where there are no conflicts. Even in happy families there are conflicting relations with parents.
2.1. Causes of parent-adolescent conflicts.
There are certain psychological factors of conflicts in parents-adolescent interaction (Hill, 1987), namely:
1.Type of family relations. The harmonious and disharmonious types of these relations are distinguished. A mobile equilibrium is established in harmonious family. It includes formation of family member’s psychological roles, formation of family «We», members’ ability to settle contradictions. Disharmony of family is a negative factor of matrimonial relations, expressed in conflict interaction of parents. The level of psychological tension in such family has a tendency to growth. It brings to the neurotic reactions of its members, to appearance of adolescents’ permanent anxiety.
2.Distruction of family education. There are the following features of destructive education: disagreements of family members on the questions of education; contradiction, inconsistence, inadequacy; guardianship and prohibitions in many spheres of adolescents’ life; high demands to the adolescents, frequent application of threats, blames.
3. Children’ age crises are regarded as factors of their conflicting behavior. An age crisis is a transitional period from one stage of child’s development to other one. In critical periods children become disobedient, capricious, irritable. They often have conflicts with the surroundings, especially with parents. They have negative attitude toward the before executed requirements which they executed before, they display extreme obstinacy. According to our topic there are the crisis of pubescence (transition from junior school to the teens 12-14 years) and juvenile crisis 15-17 years.(Erikson, 1968).
4. Factors of personality. There are some parents’ personal features that contribute their conflicts with adolescents, namely: conservative way of thinking, adherence to the out-of-date rules of conduct and harmful habits (use of alcohol and etc), authoritarianism of judgments, orthodoxy of believes, etc. Among the personal features of adolescents there are low progress, violations of conduct rules, ignoring of parents’ recommendations, and also disobedience, obstinacy, egoism and egocentrism, self-confidence, laziness, etc.
2.2. Types of parent-adolescent conflicts and
adolescents’ reactions.
Psychologists single out following types of parent-adolescent conflicts:
o Conflict of instability of paternal attitude (permanent changing of criteria of estimation of child);
o Conflict of over-care (excessive guardianship and extreme expectations);
o Conflict of disrespect of independence rights (totality of instructions and control);
o Conflict of paternal authority (aspiration to get his own back in a conflict at any cost).
Usually adolescents react on parents’ claims and conflicting actions in such ways as: reaction of opposition (demonstrative actions of negative character); reaction of refusal (insubordination to the parents’ claims); reaction of isolation (aspiration to avoid the undesirable contacts with parents, information and actions hiding).
3. Parenting styles and their role in adolescence development.
Parenting styles still have influence in adolescence. Baumrind proposed the theory of 3 parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian and liberal. (1991). Authoritative parenting style favors normal and sensible adolescent’s behavior. Such behavior is characterized by responsible, independent actions and by high level of self-reception and control. Adolescents, who are educated by authoritarian parents, can be dependent and anxious in the presence of people of powers. They can behave defiantly, take offence or can be indignant on various occasions. Adolescents educated in atmosphere of absolute connivance can ignore norms and rules as a result of insufficient self-control. They can feel inferiority if their parents ignore them completely.
Undoubtedly parenting styles can cause parent-adolescent conflicts as well as prevent their appearance. For instance, authoritarian style presupposes high level of control, strict claims and rules, immediate realization of parents’ orders. In situation of adolescents’ strivings for autonomy and independence, this style surely will cause parent-adolescent conflicts.
Liberal style presupposes low level of control. It includes absence of any rules, restrictions, prohibitions, but there is plenty of adolescents’ freedom. During the adolescence children strive for doing all they want, they are inclined to risky behaviors, they can fall under bad influence. As a result they become aggressive, inadequate, they can’t be controlled. In this case the quantity of parent-adolescent conflicts also increases.
Only authoritative style can prevent parent-adolescent conflicts, because it includes warm relations, adequate level of control, encouragement, adolescents’ independence. There is no ground for appearance and development of conflicts.
III.Critical analysis
In my opinion Baumrind’ theory of parenting styles is quite effective. During adolescence parents interact constantly with their children. At this time adolescent’s personality, identification is forming. Parents play a great role in this formation, they prepare children to adult life, and they teach them moral and social norms. That’s why it is necessary that they behave properly and give adequate example to their children. And Baumrind’ theory reveals the most typical styles of parents’ behavior. It shows that adolescence is the most difficult and problematic period in development. But if parents choose right style, they are surely to benefit. Baumrind shows in his theory how parents can contribute to their children’s becoming independent and socially adequate.
But there is also a weakness in his theory. I suppose that in reality there are no pure parenting styles. I think that they exist most of all in mixed forms. I think that the author should have singled out addition styles that would combine characteristics of these three styles.
In my own point of view parent-adolescent conflict is a natural process of development. There are different stages of development and adolescence is one of them. It is a period when the adolescents become adults; acquire their independence, autonomy, and identification. And if parents understand it, if they know Baumrind’ approach, Erikson’ theory, there will be no serious parent-adolescent conflict. To my mind parents should understand that their children’s behavior in adolescence is just their preparation to adult life. Of course the fact that children try to develop their autonomy, self-determination naturally causes some conflicts or just strained relations with parents. But parents and adolescents should live out this conflicting period for their common good.
IV.Conclusion.
In this work there were discussed the particularities and tendencies of parent-adolescent conflict, there was described family influence on adolescence development. There were singled out causes of these conflicts, their types and main adolescents’ reactions on conflicts.
The conclusions that should be made are the following. Parent-adolescent conflicts are caused to a great degree by erroneous parents and adolescents’ actions. Adolescence is a period when children become adults, independent personalities; it is just a transition to a new stage of development. Properly chosen parental style can favor successful and effective adolescents’ development.
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