Personality Development

Basically, the psychological development of an individual occurs under the impact of his or her social environment and, in this regard, the role of parents is particularly significant because they are first and the most significant adults for children. At the same time, parents should pay a lot of attention to the education of their children and their personal development since they are responsible for the formation of well-developed personalities of their children. On the other hand, it is important to avoid the dominance of parents and their overwhelming impact on their children. In this respect, the case of Mellissa is particularly noteworthy since it perfectly reveals the extent to which parents can influence psychological development of their children and even determine their lifestyle and major traits of character.
On analyzing the development of the personality of Mellissa, it should be pointed out that initially she had only a partial attention from the part of her parents, especially her mother. In this respect, it is worth mentioning several factors. First of all, she had a twin brother who naturally took a considerable part of her parents’ attention. Furthermore, her mother was quite an ambitious woman and she “found it difficult to manage the demands of her jobs and raising her small children at the same time”. In such a way, Mrs. Wilson had to focus on both her job and her family life and raising her children. Taking into consideration the fact that she had twins, Mellissa got even less attention from the part of her mother than she could have potentially got if she was the only child in the family.
In such a situation, her mother did not pay sufficient attention to her daughter. For instance, Mrs. Wilson “quickly began the process of getting them [Mellissa and her brother] off of diapers and managed to complete the task in record time”. Naturally, Mellissa suffered from the lack of mother’s attention from the beginning of her life and, in a way, she lacked the model of a female behavior in the family. Instead, her personal development was dramatically influenced by constraints of her father’s high expectations. To put it more precisely, her father became the dominant figure for her daughter, while she lacked the communication with her mother who had to work, the father started to play even more important role in her personal development, especially due to his extreme involvement “in the life of his children”. Moreover, from the beginning of the life he had started to impose his own vision and philosophy on his children and “he was “grooming them for success””. In such a way, Mellissa was originally success-oriented and the achievement of success in her life became one of the priorities in her personal development. Actually, this means that this orientation on success determined the development of an active lifestyle of Mellissa and the formation of leadership qualities, which are traditionally attributed to males and, in the case of Mellissa, their formation, to a significant extent, was determined by the influence of her father. No wonder, Mellissa and her brother “were naturally active and outgoing” and, what is more, “they were among the most popular kids in the neighborhood”. This popularity was basically the result of the pressure from the part of the father than natural inclination of Mellissa. In addition, it is necessary to take into consideration the impact of her brother who also affected her personal development since, being a twin, he was perceived by Mellissa as a model of behavior along with their father who seemed to be too concerned on the development of his children, while the mother had to sacrifice in a way her family life for the sake of her career.
As a result, Mellissa had developed leadership qualities and always targeted at the achievement of top position in her social environment to meet the high expectations of her father. For instance, she was “a cheerleader, president of several school clubs, and homecoming queen”. In her academic activities she was also oriented on top results. In this respect, it is worth mentioning the system of reward established by her father which became a motivation for her academic successes. At the same time, Mellissa was not conscious of the pressure from the part of her father, instead, she loved him and perceived as an ideal man.
On the other hand, she had started to develop her own interest and activities which were not imposed on her by her father. In such a way, her true identity, the identity of her own but not the one formed by her father, had started to develop. Nevertheless, the fear to fail and ruin her father’s expectations was still pressing on her decisions and life choices. For instance, her choice of a college was apparently determined by the influence of her father and her desire to meet his expectations. Even her job, which “she didn’t truly enjoy”, was important for her because it was “prestigious and the salary that they paid her was quite high”.
At the same time, the influence of her father influenced not only her professional, but also personal life. In this respect, her boyfriend, Matt, who was 52 and much older than Mellissa, was a choice determined by Mellissa’s love to her father. In fact, she projected her love to her father on her boyfriends and looked for another father, i.e. a boyfriend, who resembled her own father. Matt was a successful businessman and just like her father “he always lavished Mellissa with expensive gifts and tips”.
However, eventually, Melissa arrived to the understanding that her father’s expectations were dominant but her own needs and interests are ignored. In this respect, her problem at her work when she was not rewarded as she expected forced her to reevaluate her professional life and determined her decision to call off the wedding since “her fears and uncertainty about her future with Matt only intensified”. In fact, she realized that her entire life was determined by the impact of her father, but she proved to be able to take independent decisions and “left for Europe to pursue her dream of studying pastry making in France”.