Basically, each individual has his/her own way in life but, nevertheless, all
people undergo similar stages of the development, which led them from the birth
to maturity. As for me, I should say that I am not an exception and gradually
I acquired essential social skills, get integrated in my social environment
and now I can estimate that my personality is basically shaped and, whether
it is good or bad, it is the result of my internal development as well as numerous
external influences that affected the development of my personality. In this
respect, I should say that in the course of my personal development I was naturally
influenced by my social environment, especially my peers, neighborhood, and,
naturally my family. At the same time, it is quite interesting now to look back
at my personal development and analyze my progress stage by stage, using Erick
Erickson developmental theory and Lawrence Kohlberg’s developmental model
of moral development.
First of all, I should say that I can hardly remember the first months of my
life and a couple of years, but, nevertheless, taking into consideration my
knowledge in physiology and psychology and using Erickson’s developmental
theory I should say that, as any other person, I started my life with the acquisition
of the first and most important at this stage of the development skills and
qualities. To put it more precisely, the first stage of my development was closely
related to my natural need in nutrition and ample support of my parents. At
this stage my senses started to develop rapidly and I acquired the information
about the surrounding world being totally dependent on my parents. No wonder
Erickson defines this stage as oral-sensory since I started to perceive the
surrounding world using all my senses being unable to perceive it in the same
way I do now, but, nonetheless, it was at this stage when the trust to my parents
was probably developed because, taking into consideration my position within
the first year of my life, my parents was the only people that I was totally
dependent on and this dependence probably shaped my trust to them. However,
the opposite of the trust, mistrust should be also developed at this stage since
I learned what may hurt me, for instance, and thus became more careful and more
mistrustful to the surrounding world, which actually could be quite dangerous
if I trust totally dominated in my consciousness.
According to Erickson, the second stage of development is supposed to contribute
to the development of my autonomy. In fact, the period from 1 to 3 is also quite
vague to me and I cannot really recollect this time but still it was at this
stage when I actually my first step, both literally and figuratively speaking,
in my life. To put it more precisely, I was not so dependent on my parents as
I was at the first stage of the development but my “freedom” was
still quite limited. Nevertheless, I could speak about certain autonomy since
I could discover the surrounding world partially on my own. For instance, I
started walking and, therefore, I could walk and discover new things, my senses
also developed progressively while my knowledge about the surrounding world
grew enormously due to the use of all senses in my activities.
However, I started to demonstrate some initiative on the third stage of my development
which is not so vague as previous two stages but my recollection about my life
from 3 to 6 are not as clear as about the following stages. Nevertheless, I
should say that it was at this period when I became interested in the surrounding
world and in my own identity. In a way, this period may be referred to what
Kohlberg’s defines as self-interest orientation when the question “what’s
in it for me?” was really important to me (Shaffer, 2004). I attempted
to ask as many questions and learn as much about the surrounding world as I
could. Even though I was still highly dependent on my parents it was the stage
when my independence started to develop for I could not simply perceive the
surrounding world but interpret it in my own, subjective way, though I should
admit that my perception was, to a significant extent, defined by my family,
i.e. my parents.
The following six years that comprise the fourth stage, according to Erickson’s
developmental theory, I remember quite well. It was the time when I was very
interesting in different activities, I made new friends at school, I paid a
lot of attention to my study, but parents as well as adults at large, still
remained the highest authority to me (Crain, 1985). In this respect, it is possible
to correlate this stage to Kohlberg’s interpersonal accord and conformity
stage, when I focused my efforts on receiving my parents’ praise as well
as that of other adults that were significant to me. By the way, at this stage
new adults appeared in my life, i.e. teachers who also were very important to
me at that period. This is probably why I was so industrious and attempted to
be good in order to meet their expectations and I should say that I remained
quite obedient at this stage and was oriented on the maintenance of the existing
order. This is why it is probably to speak about the overlapping of three stages,
i.e. the stage of obedience and punishment orientation, my first efforts to
find interpersonal accord and conformity, and authority and social-order maintaining,
according to Kohlberg’s model (Crain, 1985), in one stage, according to
Erickson’s theory.
The adolescence was the most difficult stage of my personal development and
I am not unique in this respect. In fact, I perfectly felt that I am changing
somehow and often I was extremely dissatisfied with my actions, my appearance,
even my parents, which just a couple of years ago, were the highest authority
to me. At the same time, the fifth stage of my development was also accompanied
by the actual shaping of my identity and the adolescent years were really hard.
My peers were extremely important to me. They overshadowed my family and I was
rather focused on my interaction with my peers than on my relationships with
my family.
Unfortunately, my social surrounding was far from perfect at this stage, since
I was born and lived in poverty stricken neighborhood. As a result, many peers
tended to anti-social and delinquent behavior affecting my personal development
dramatically. It was really the period of the highest risk to my well-being
and my future, since such a problematic social surrounding became more important
to me than my parents who were educated and sensible people and who really wished
I succeeded in my life. In fact, it was really the most difficult period of
my life since I was in a great mess. Everything I believed in that was bring
in my consciousness by my parents seemed to be useless, when I witnessed drug
dealing and murders, extreme violence and dangerous gangs, which were not an
abstract notion to me but was rather a part of reality I lived in and there
was a great risk that I could become a part of this world since my peers gradually
involved me in this lifestyle. Now I realized that this almost ruined the development
of my internal inclinations and threatened to my positive personal development.
In such a way, I attempted to be a part of a small community consisting of my
peers and separate myself from the world of my parents which I regarded as out
of date and absolutely irrelevant to the real life. No wonder, under the impact
of my peers and negative social surrounding, I failed to graduate from high
school. However, I was not totally lost in all this mess. In stark contrast,
as I grew older, in my late teens, I started to realize that there was something
wrong with my lifestyle. I understood that my parents were not totally wrong,
while my peers were not always right and, what is more, I felt that anti-social
lifestyle of my surrounding would lead me to the dead-end.
Finally, I managed to cope with the problems I had and by the age of 18 I fully
realized that I need to change my lifestyle. In this respect, my parents played
a very important role since they were always supportive and as I grew older
I understood that they are wise people worthy of being listened to. In fact,
they helped me to give up my “adventures” with my peers and started
a different life. As a result, I decided to get my GED and became a correctional
officer. Later I joined military where I got my BA. In such a way, at the stage
of young adulthood I managed to totally reject the negative influences of my
social surrounding since my identity was actually shaped not only under the
influence of my peers but also my parents and other significant adults and I
attempted to look for what Kohlberg defined as social contract, entering another
stage of my personal development (Shaffer, 2004).
At the same time, I want to underline that my social environment and cultural
context produced a profound impact on my personal development. Since early childhood
I was influenced by my parents with the help of which I actually discovered
the surrounding world and shaped my basic views. In fact, my socialization started
in my family. Gradually, other adults, such as teachers, and later peers started
to play increasingly more important role in the formation of my personality.
As I have already said, it is under the impact of my peers, which formed social
environment that significant to me, I did not graduate from high school and
I was dramatically affected by the violent environment which contributed to
negative inclinations I tended to. For instance, in my teens I did not perceive
violence and gangs as antisocial phenomena, instead, I perceived it as a norm.
Fortunately, my socio-cultural was not limited by my peers only and, as I grew
older the influence of my parents, which, in contrast to many of my peers and
neighborhood at large, were educated people and had strong traditions influenced
and convinced me to pay more attention to my education as my father and mother
actually did and, in fact, they perceived higher education as a norm. As a result,
under their impact, i.e. under the impact of socio-cultural context of my family,
I changed my views on life and my future.
Now, I realize that I am an adult person and I should be responsible for my
own actions since I am really independent and attempt my place in life. I want
to underline that ethnical problems are growing more and more important to me
and now I tend to make not simply choices that are useful to me but I want to
make ethical choices, probably entering a new stage of my personal development.
References:
Crain, W. C. (1985). Theories of Development. New York: Prentice-Hall.
Roazen, P. (1976). Erik H. Erikson: The Power and Limits of a Vision. New York:
The Free Press.
Shaffer, David R. (2004). Social and Personality Development. LA: Wadsworth
Publishing
Welchman, K. (2000). Erik Erikson, His Life, Work, and Significance. New York:
Random House.
